The Why
There was a time when I was churning out new music like a machine without any consideration whether the songs will see the light of day and if they are even worth a release but that never stopped me from writing them. Over the years that creative engine has been brought to a crawl pace, you can call that the effect of life. These songs that suffered from serious production disabilities then became a relic of my past that just were symbols of how I felt aka snapshots in time. The way I described them through harmonies and melodies always took me back to that time and served as a one way journey to nostalgia town.
Last year I had embarked on what I believe is the second act of my life. Till last year, all I did revolved around music and a major stakeholder in that was my metal band Devoid which became a soap box for all my expressions. Through Devoid I had a chance of travelling around the country and outside and it arguably was the best thing that could have happened to me in my life till then. All of that got kicked off because the 17 year old me didn't care for validation and the only purpose was to be out there, in the ether. With last year I think I might have closed that chapter to life by moving to Bangalore after the band took a hiatus. It was then that I really understood the value of being out there, in the ether. It was then that I truly found myself not a part of anything greater than me and in that I became alone again.
They say that, it is in the darkest of times that the yearning for the light is at its most potent. They say that because it is largely true. I believe that in the last couple of years I frequented that relic of a folder, that contained all my old songs, more than ever before in hopes that I do justice to them. That through them I can belong to something that is bigger than just me. Now I know that I can.
Thank you for taking some time out and thank you for the interest you've shown. I can't wait to share with you three songs that to me best encapsulates the (for the lack of a better word) "journey" that took me instead of the way around. They speak of a pursuit to redemption that is wholly personal; sprinkled with self-doubt and insecurities that always seem to find a way to hijack the ending.
Now I leave again to finish the one year left in the course of management aka mental time-out. I leave now with a strong belief that I am in a better place than a year back, because with this at least I know I have something to come back to.